Notes of a Secret Agent
I’ll admit it: I’m a Secret Agent. I go by many names and aliases, and like a chameleon, I don different disguises as the situation dictates. But that’s only a part of it. What makes me unique is that I have mastered my craft at such a level, that I not only change superficially but subconsciously too. I don’t merely change my appearance; I change my attitude, my persona, even my language. I change my essence and morph both mind and spirit to fit any situation; I morph into what’s expected both by others and myself.
You may be asking: why do you do this? Do you feel obligated? The truth is that my condition is just one of the necessities of living in two worlds - a necessity that is presently inescapable and will forever be inescapable. Any person who has lived a similar situation to mine is a likely candidate to join my league of secret agents, a group so cunning and in tune with the art of disguise, that not even the CIA can rival us.
Now you must be dying to know my origins, know exactly how I came to possess this gift and to know the power of this gift. I am the product of two worlds, worlds with different yet equally demanding expectations which cannot be ignored. My two cultures call upon me to stay true to them, to fulfill their legacy and not betray their history. These worlds each demand a different person; each calls for a different Nike. There is a Dominican Nike, an American Nike, and a Dominicanyork Nike. All of these personalities are a part of me and I would be lost without them. I like to think of myself as having a healthy case of multiple personalities. It is a way of staying true to the contrasting ideals that make up my life.
In the years when I was living in Rio Arriba, a small rural town in the Dominican Republic, I was solely Dominican Nike; my alias at that time, the affectionate nickname of Nicky. Eight year old Nicky only spoke Spanish and attended the local school which was located a couple of minutes away. His life was spent playing games, singing songs and listening to the Cuentos of the older children. Each day at noon he would stand erect, listen to the Dominican national anthem, then shortly after he would be called home to enjoy the prompt 12 o’clock lunch.
Nike, however, was born in 1996 in the Bronx, New York. Nike, though his appearance is identical to Nicky’s, is completely different. He is a guy with a quiet nature, observant of the world around him, always learning, always thinking, always after becoming better. He is competitive and ambitious but can loosen up easily when in the company of friends. In my line of work, I use Nike to survive the dangerous and unforgiving streets of New York. I use this personality to infiltrate American society and give myself the room needed to succeed.
Yet there is another personality which makes up my being, an identity, created out of the essence of the other two which helps me feel whole and at peace. This person has no name, no face, but is only identified by the language which he speaks. His language is a hybrid tongue which can unite two cultures with the formation of a single word. His language is Spanglish, his nationality is Dominicanyork. He is somebody I become when in the company of my fellow secret agents, as only they can understand a language which is virtually without rules or restrictions. It is this personality that is the most true to me and it’s the personality which ultimately brings me unity.
The life of a secret agent is synonymous with danger. There is a constant fear of being found out, of being denounced as a traitor. However, I see being split into three as a tremendous gift - it gives me the power to complete my life mission. I am not a rogue agent driven crazy by the demanding tasks of my profession. I am in control of my life and know exactly who I am. I am a secret agent and my job is to save the world from destruction. That’s my truth. I can’t willingly choose to embrace one world at the expense of the other’s destruction. I must always be emerged in both cultures, with a mission to ensure that one culture isn’t withered down by the other. My mission is a lifelong one: I will always be a Secret Agent.